Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Realistic or selling yourself short.

They say that we are the worst critic for ourselves. We often exaggerate the negative in ourselves, which I think is a defense mechanism. We find ourselves to be too fat, too old, too unattractive or whatever than we really are as perceived by an objective 3rd party observer. I, at least, do. I would rate my attractiveness at a conservative lower number than another might. So when it comes to finding a potential mate, I would often go for somebody who are my level of "hotness". If I fancy myself to be a 6 in a 1-10 scale of "hotness", I would pursue somebody who are somewhere between a 5 to a 7. If I see somebody who is obviously a 9 to 10, I would not even bother pursuing that person because I am realistic that he is out of my league. He is simply too handsome, too young, too buff or whatever for me to realistically get. And often it is the case. Although on rare occasion, I would see a mismatched couple wherein one is a 9 and the other is no more than a 5. So how did this happen? I don't know. Perhaps the 9 has imperceptible flaws and the 5 has imperceptible good qualities to compensate. And I am sure beyond my physical attributes that I score at a 6/10, I have other good qualities that can land me an 9/10. Doable? Perhaps. But on the other hand, the pragmatic and realistic side of me would rather not bother with a 9/10 in fear of rejection. So am I selling myself short by not trying to show that 9/10 that I have other inner qualities beyond my physical looks of 6/10 that might interest him? Perhaps... I bet that 5/10 in that mismatched couple did not let a thing called being realistic stopped him from sweeping that 9/10 off the floor with his charms, money, character, humor, etc. Then perhaps I should not let a thing called being realistic stop me too... Nah, I am too realistic to even try.

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