Saturday, February 28, 2009

Gabby - Noon at ngayon (then and now)

Gabby Concepcion was a matinee idol back in the Philippines when I was in my teens. Back then, I thought he was very handsome. Here are some pic of him with Sharon and other actors. Solo pics of him in the pre-internet era are hard to come by evidently.
And here is Gabby now. Just as handsome. In fact more distinguished looking and more yummy.
(pics from,,, and

Soy estadoudinenses.

I have been an American Citizen now for 5 years or so. I have participated in the political machinery of the American Government through elections. This recent speech of President Obama to the Joint Congress just reverberated through my being with an emotion I have never felt before. Let us admit that the speech is full of hope and gives us all a "feel good" feeling. My heart swelled with pride being an American when I saw the members of the Supreme Court enters the hall. It swelled more when I saw the members of the Cabinet enters the hall. It elevated to a new height of pride seeing the members of Congress and Senate in the great hall of our Legislative branch of the government. And it almost brought tears to my eyes listening to the speech of President Obama. I will always cherish the Philippines as my home country. I will always honor China as the land of my ancestors. But now I think I can truly identify myself as an American.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Midsummer's Night Dream: A Queer Tale

I saw this Mid Tangent production here in Chicago several months ago. It is no longer playing. One of the cast is a friend of mine Madame X aka Cecilia. She was the fabulous drag queen with all the fabulous outfit in the show. My very simplistic review of this Shakespeare adaptation would be as follows. "I like the dance number and costumes. Certainly the gay factor is funny to watch. And there are some skin which makes this quite a fun way to spend an evening" For a more in-depth and proper review, click HERE.
I heard from my friends that production is trying to raise money to bring this to NYC. Perhaps an off off broadway production. I hope they succeed.

Pet peeve - false fluency.

I work with a lot of spanish speaker. Some can not speak english at all, some can speak rudimentary english, and others are fluent bilingually. I am learning my spanish so I don't mind practicing it with my spanish speaker clients. What irks me more are those who insist of speaking english and pretending to be fluent when in fact they are not. How do I know? Because they are not following the conversation properly. I ask them one question, their answer would be something I did not asked for. It is false fluency and it's rather annoying.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

pet peeve - checking message in the phone

I know I am just being petty but I don't really like checking messages in my cell phone. Specially if the message is just to tell me that he/she returned my call. Well I know he/she called back cause I can see it in my "missed calls". So really no need to leave a message. Worse if the caller and I are just playing phone tag. I am weird about that.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ben, Ethan and David

Ben had noticed that Ethan had been distant lately. They had been lovers and living together for almost a year. The past 2 months or so, Ben and Ethan had been hardly intimate in bed. Ethan was a young man of 23 so having a low libido for sex was rather uncommon. The advances and hugs of Ben were repelled with an excuse of being tired. And the constant texting of Ethan with his "friend" David was rather too often to be platonic. Ethan was also very secretive and guarded of his texting. He did not want Ben to see it which beg to question if the texting were truly innocent and just between friends.
One afternoon as Ben and Ethan were window shopping, Ethan commented on an item that he could get David for his upcoming birthday. Ben was rather jealous of this cause Ethan did not even get him anything for his birthday. Ben did not really care initially that Ethan gave him no present cause he knows money was tight with Ethan. But for him to spend on a gift for a friend and not his lover was rather unacceptable. Ben protested and Ethan did not pursue the issue. Ethan just secretly decided to get David a gift without Ben knowing.
In one of the arguments that Ben and Ethan had, Ethan mentioned that he could move out anytime cause David offered his spare bedroom to him. Before this offer, Ethan was rather "stuck" with Ben. He may have loved Ben initially but his feeling were transferred to David lately. He may not have pursued this feelings for David if he did not have an option to get out of his living situation with Ben. Money was tight with Ethan and getting an apartment of his own was rather a very difficult prospect. But now that he can move in with David, he had rather grown bold in pursuing David while still living with Ben. Ben was not stupid and he had seen this coming. So he talked with Ethan about it. They agreed to think about their situation over one weekend when Ethan was to spend the said weekend with his family in the country. But a few days prior to the said departure of Ethan to his parents, he did not go home to Ben at all. Ben called his phone but only got the voicemail. At around midnight, Ben got a call from Ethan saying that he fell asleep in the couch at David's and he was spending the night there cause it was rather late to go home. Ben was filled with fury over this blatant display of disregard for their relationship. To Ben, this was already a clear answer from Ethan that he wanted out of the relationship. So Ben just told Ethan right there and then over the phone that they were finished. And that Ethan can tell David to prepare the bedroom for Ethan to move in ASAP.
The next day as Ethan arrived, Ben asked him when he could move out. Ben just wanted to get this over with. Ethan told Ben that David changed his mind about the offer. David said that he wanted to take it slow with Ethan so moving in was not a good idea. Ethan at this point was in a very tight situation. Ben wanted him out and yet David rescinded his offer. What was he to do? Ben at this point had decided that he and Ethan were over. So Ben did not offer to take Ethan back but rather gave him one week to look for a place and move out. Ethan had no money and had bad credit so finding an apartment that suited his "style" was rather a daunting job. Ethan was always moody the next couple of days. He was rather even rude and short to Ben. Ben wasn't taking any of these sitting down so a full blown shouting match ensued. Ethan was angry that Ben could not give him more time to find a decent apartment. Ben snapped back that he should blame David for rescinding his offer. Ben told Ethan that the one week he gave Ethan was an act of kindness and not an obligation nor duty. This clearly Ethan did not understand. He felt entitled like he had always felt. And there was also the matter of money Ethan owed Ben. Ben was prepared to give Ethan time to repay his debt but he was keeping the antique plate set Ethan owned. To Ethan, those plates were precious cause they were given to him by his mother. On the day of his moving out, he was very angry that he could not bring his plates with him. Ben was not stupid to just let Ethan walk away with his debt. You see Ben was rather shrewd about this and he handled the matter rather impeccably logical. Ben was very happy to have Ethan out of his life. The only thing connecting them now was the debt Ethan owed Ben. Ben could not wait to sever the umbilical chord connecting them. So one month after the said move out, Ben emailed Ethan that he was moving to San Francisco so the debt needed to be paid immediately. This was of course just a ruse by Ben to get his money back. Ethan begged Ben to give him more time but Ben was unrelenting. More angry emails were exchanged. One being a threat from Ben to sell the plates and another to bring Ethan to small claims court. Ben really did not care at all for Ethan anymore. If anything else, he would rather see Ethan suffer financially. Ben had seen the true color of Ethan and he really just wanted pay back. Ethan was able to come up with the money. Where and how, Ben did not know and neither cared. Finally, Ben was completely free. He learned a valuable lesson. The feelings for Ethan once he held dear were undone. To this day when Ben and Ethan see each other in public, no words are spoken or looks exchanged between the two. And this suited Ben just fine.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Military fairy.

LOL. This reminds me of the Chicago ROTC (righteously outrageous twirling corp). I was a member of the ROTC for 2 years and I joined one gay pride performance and two market days performance. Those were fun times.

Saturday, February 21, 2009


Cougar is the pop culture term used to refer to an older woman who dates younger men. It is the derogatory term the Vancouver Canucks (hockey team) in the 80s first coined their older groupies. Demi Moore, Cameron Diaz, Cher and Mary Kay Latourneau come to mind when thinking of cougar ladies.
The SNL skit coined the word cougay to refer to an older gay man chasing younger gay men. It is hilarious I tell you.

Another reason why I posted this blog about cougay (aka chicken hawk) is to beg the question "Am I a cougay?" I had an LTR bf who was 16 years my junior once. And I have been known to be attracted to younger guys specially now that I am older. Does this make me a cougay? I think that to be a cougay, an older gay man has to exclusively want younger guys only. He is only interested in sex or relationship with young guys. And I don't think I am like that. My first LTR bf was 4 years my senior and the other guys that I had short term relationship were my age group. Besides some young guys, I am also attracted to guys my age group. So I am not a cougay but definitely have cougay tendencies.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Not as helpless

The other day as I was driving south on Ashland Avenue on my way to work, this green jeep cut in front of me and was literally just 1 foot away from hitting my car. And I noticed that he was cutting dangerously in front of other cars weaving back and forth from the left to the right lane. Definitely reckless driving that deserves a ticket. But there was no cop around to issue one. What are the options of a civilian like me in this instance? I felt so helpless and angry. Oh how I wished that he run his jeep in front of a pole. Just enough to give him a whiplash injury and several thousands of repair cost.

Alas, don't despair my readers. We are not as helpless as we thought in these situations. We can actually get his license plate number and description of his vehicle. Then call 911 to have a squad car intercept and give him a ticket. The only caveat is that whoever reported this offense will have to go to court to stand as witness. And it does even guarantee that the ticket will not be dismissed if he contest your word against his. And even if the ticket gets dismissed, there is still some good to come out of us reporting it. Cause if this guy is a habitual reckless driver, there bound to be some other person reporting him again in the future. And if record shows that he has been accused of this before, the likelihood of his second ticket being dismissed is less. Another option that we have is to take a video using the camera phone as evidence of the reckless driving. Bless technology.

So let us all unite and rid of our roads of reckless drivers by reporting them.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The sock that came back.

My sock came back. Yes about 2 months ago, I lost one pair of my black sock. I luv that particular pair of black socks cause they are thin, long and warm. I think they were ski socks and I do not remember where I got them. So loosing one of the pair bothered me. I thought I might have left it in Tucson since I remembered using it the last time there. But unlikely cause I am very meticulous about my packing before any trip. Then I thought it might have fallen inside the washer. Unlikely to happen accidentally but very possible if I shoved it in there. I looked and looked everywhere from the suitcase I used on my last trip to the dryer to the bottom of the bed but to no avail, I could not find it. Then the other night as I was vacuuming and moving my office chair, the missing sock fell down from the chair. How did it get there??? I have been sitting on that chair every day and how come I have not seen or felt it at all? Some mischief be happening here...

1099 vexation

I got an email from both of my banks that they will not be mailing my 1099 in accordance with their Green effort. The email state that my 1099 will be available online to print for my tax use. I was annoyed by this fact so I begrudgingly went online. Their intentions are good so I should not be too upset. After a very difficult process that took me a good 30 mins, I was still unable to get my 1099 printed. Perhaps I was not computer savvy enough or what. So I called the bank which took another lengthy period of selecting different options. I just want to speak to a person to get my 1099 mailed. Finally I was able to speak to the person and gave my request. At that time I was already very vexed which showed by my rude tone to the banker on the phone. Poor guy having to listen to rude me. After several weeks, I still did not get my 1099. So I called again and went through one more time with the lengthy process of selecting different options till I was able to speak to a person to give my request for the second time. At this point, I was really very fraustrated with this.
I have several issues with this. First, I don't read all my emails from the bank since it is mostly just junk trying to sell me some service or advertisement. So what if I did not read that particular email? Second, why would their process online to get the 1099 so difficult? I am not bad with my online skills but still was unable to get it. Third, why does it take forever selecting all these options and entering all these numbers just to speak with a live person to get my 1099 mailed?
This is enough to drive a buddha into bank rage.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


The first and only time I made ham was the Thanksgiving of 99. My BF then was spending Thanksgiving with me and his request was Ham. And I have not made Ham ever so I got some recipe from my friend Franny. I dare say it turned out good. It was not that hard to make. Perhaps I shall make some to celebrate my Blog's anniversary.

Ingredients: Round Ham, Honey, 7-up, brown sugar and sliced pineapple.

1. boil whole ham on 7-up and pineapple juice (half filled) for 1/2 hour.
2. slice ham 1/2 inch thick then garnish sliced pineapple on top.
3. pour a mixture of brown sugar and honey on the ham.
4. pour some boiled 7-up and pineapple juice over ham.
5. bake ham for 1 hour at 400 F until it becomes brown. turn ham upside down half way.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Me? Gardasil?

I have seen that TV ad of Gardasil as a vaccine against HPV in women. And HPV (human papillomavirus) is the leading cause of cervical cancer in women. I may be gay but I am certainly sure I have male anatomy. So why am I reading in Advocate about gay men potentially benefiting from having the Gardasil vaccine. As it turn out, people (gay men mostly) who engage in anal sex can also get HPV and can potentially have anal cancer. The science behind this advice is sound but the thought of me getting anal cancer and HPV just leaves me speechless. Well I suppose I am not entirely speechless cause I have one answer to this dilemma. Use a condom!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

remembering Miss Saigon

Miss Saigon is my favorite musical. I already knew the songs by heart even before I saw the Chicago Production long time ago. One of my only regret is I never got to see the broadway cast with Lea Salonga. Here are two clips of Chris singing "why God why". You probably guessed why I picked these two. ;-)

Saturday, February 14, 2009

It is VD

Not venereal disease but Valentine's Day. Unless you got VD from your valentine. Anyways, hope everybody have a good and romantic Valentine's Day. And for the rest of the uncoupled ones like me out there, let us just focus on this day as a day for renewing friendship as well. In some countries, Valentine's Day is not just for lovers. It is also for friendship. I think I like that better.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

All men are created equal except when decided by the Electorate

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."

Those were the words of Thomas Jefferson in 1776 when he wrote the declaration of independence. And to this day, all Americans hold this view to be sacred and the very essence of our nation. To be American is to be born EQUAL with every other American. All with EQUAL rights and EQUAL opportunities and EQUAL responsibilities. So how is it then that the Californian electorate was able to decide in Proposition 8 that the GLBT community are not to be granted equal rights by denying them civil marriage? That is very unAmerican! There are certain things that are just black and white. Right is right and wrong is wrong. What if the majority of a small town of mostly Episcopalian decides that Mormons are not to have the same rights in their town? Does that make it right? NO! (although I would have loved seeing that to give those Mormons a taste of their own medicine) There are just certain rights that are not within the purview of the electorate to decide. EQUALITY under the Law is not a matter that can be decided by the tyranny of the ignorant majority. The government has the responsibility of protecting the rights of every minorities including the Homosexuals.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Blogging and me - anniversary edition

Today is the one year anniversary of my blog. "My very own Pensieve" turns one today February the 11th. Can't believe I have entered so much mundane stuff in this blog for a period of one year now. Counting this entry, my total entered blog hits 279. I have that much to say? I have in fact deleted some entries that were not valid anymore on three occasions.

Hopefully most of my entries have amused or informed some readers out there. And I endeavor to amuse or inform more in the coming year.

Dry skin stories

I have two stories relating to my true experience with dry skin. The first one happened when I first arrived here in the spring of 1993. I am from the Philippines so dry skin is so foreign to me. The humidity there is so high that we have an issue with our face being too oily. We hardly moisturize and we even shower twice a day and still no such thing as dry skin. A week or so after my arrival, I began to experience this prickly itch on my skin (specially the torso) while in bed ready to sleep. So initially I thought it was some allergy or that I was not clean enough. But I showered before bed so how can I still be dirty? Are the sheets dirty? I was most bewildered. After talking to some people at work about it, I came to the conclusion that it must be dry skin. So after religiously moisturizing my body after showering, the itch was gone. Even to these days, every spring, winter and autumn, I moisturize after my shower. I even moisturize in between showers during winter time.

The second story has to do with the soap I used. I have been, for the past several years, been consistently using Dove bar soap with moisturizing cream. I thought it would help moisturize my skin while I clean but deep down, I never really bought in to this idea 100%. Lately, I run out of Dove and I was too lazy to dig in the closet for the supply I have. So I thought I will just use this Motel soap I got from my last trip that is laying conveniently in the drawer. One week of using this generic motel soap, I began to feel the prickly itching sensation again. And I moisturized the same way as I did so I wondered for a bit. Then it dawned on me that I was not using Dove anymore. So Dove does really help moisturize my skin. Talk about a lame epiphany eh?

Monday, February 09, 2009

moshu pork by auntie

This is a recipe my cousin gave me. Her mom evidently cooked this once for them.

1 kilo pork
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cup minced garlic
3/4 cup vinegar
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1 bay leaf
2 TBS soy sauce
1 TBS salt
1 TBS pepper

Procedure: Sautee garlic then add Pork till brown. Mix in everything and bring to boil till fat melts or meat softens.

How easy is that? Anybody wants to try it?

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Political Placards

I subscribe to Advocate magazine, a gay magazine that features quite a bit of political articles. And of late, the focus was on gay rights specifically the right to marry. Here are some signs during a pro-gay rights / pro-gay marriage gathering / march / rally I find relevant or amusing that were photographed and printed in the magazine.

> Commitments of Love are never wrong.
> Better gay than grumpy.
> Brigham Young was married 52 times! I just need once!
> I look good in white.
> When the church comes for YOUR rights, I'll fight for you too!
> Support gay unions "everybody should be happy"
> LOVE not H8.
> Equality is for Everyone.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Me, My spanish and My first latin bar

During my recent trip to Atlanta to see my friend Roland from El Salvador, I got to meet his other friends Carlos (from El Salvador) and Pedro (from Mexico). I have recently been using my spanish at work and have taken additional courses to improve my spanish. I was pretty excited that I will get to practice my language skills with these spanish speakers for this trip. So when they suggested to go to El Chapparal for Friday latin gay nights, I did not hesitate at all. I was looking forward to my first ever latin bar (gay or straight) foray.
Upon entering, I was not at all disappointed by the composition of the crowd. Gay Latin men galore. Call them maricon, pato or the proper homosexual, many were every aggreable to my aesthetics. A splaterring of girls here and there. Everybody was speaking spanish. Spanish flavor dance tunes playing loudly that you could feel the beat down to your core. They danced some rigaton, batchata and other latin dances I don't even know exist. I even tried some batchata with my friend. There I discovered that I am bad at my latin moves. Although I think I did it right, I was not good at sustaining it. It was such a cardio dance, no wonder these men sweat when they dance. Then the drag queen(vestida) show came. They lip synched like they were performing for the grammy's award. Hair bigger than the burning bush of Moses. Most performed to some spanish dance tunes but one performed to Beyonce's Single Ladies. She was befitting and she got the hair, attitude, outfit and moves down to the last detail. I am telling you, latin drag queens are the best. It was all fun and new to me. I was having blast.
Then as the night evolved, I grew more tired and weary. My friends wanted to stay and dance some more. I just wanted to go and get some Zzzz. The novelty wore off. What was once diverting trying to follow a spanish conversation became a doldrum. What was once amusing looking at the drag queen's attitude as they move and speak became an exasperation. What was once an adventure dancing to those spanish dance beat became a chagrin that I was not able to sing along to these songs like I would do when I had one to many libation.
Needless to say, I probably won't be venturing to another latin bar soon. Well not until it my short term memory fails me regarding this recent trip.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Is this the same Henry Sanada?

When I was a preteen boy in the Philippines, I remember watching this Japanese TV show or movie called Shogun Ninja starring Henry Sanada. The reason why I remembered this is because I had a big crush on Henry. Recently as I was paying tribute to all these handsome Asian men, I remembered Henry Sanada again. So I googled his name and recent pictures of him came up. The older Henry Sanada did not quite elicit the same titillation on my part as I remembered. Perhaps because he is older now and not as handsome? Or is it perhaps I got the name wrong and I was looking for the wrong person online. So I dug deeper and googled "Henry Sanada and Shogun" at the same time. Then these old clip on youtube came up. The younger Henry Sanada was indeed handsome. But still not handsome enough as I remembered. Did my taste change a little? I currently don't like long hair in men so did the longer haired Henry in the old youtube clips deceived me in thinking that it is not the same person? I wonder...

(pic from

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Who donated for Prop 8?

As some of us know, Proposition 8 was passed in California this past election. There were loads of money poured for yes or no votes. That is the beauty of America, you can support whatever cause you like. And along with that, I as a consumer can patronize organizations that are only friendly to my cause or at least neutral. And for me, any institution that wants to limit my basic human rights as a citizen does not deserve my hard earned money. Yes, I will boycott them. Here is a partial list of organizations and individuals that donated money to Prop 8. I am only listing those that I think are significant to me cause a lot of the organizations that donated money to Prop 8 are based in California and not likely to make business with me.

- Knights of Columbus. The Political arm of the Roman Catholic Church. $1,425,000. Needless to say, I will no longer give money to the Church.

- Caster Family, Owner of A-1 self storage. $693,000.

- US conference of Catholic Bishops. $200,000.

- Dewitt Paul. Founder of Cotton Buds. Partnered with Proctor and Gamble. $20,000.

- Curtis Chandler of Allstate Insurance in Sacramento. $10,000.

- Paul Sorensen. Select Staffing Manager in Santa Barbara. $10,000.

- Thomas Busi. owner of FirstCard ATM. $10,000.

- Alant Stock. CEO of Cinemark. $9,999.

- Charles Stucki. CEO of Cisco Systems. $6,000.

- Darren Henderson, Investment Adviser for Merril Lunch. $5,000.

The list is long and if you live in California and value equality for all, it might be a good idea to boycott those CA based organizations. Click HERE for the complete list.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Blogging and me (part 6)

I have never claimed that I don't find satisfaction in the knowledge that my blog is being read out there in cyber space. I do like reading the comments from people who do read my blog. It is a delight indeed. So for those of you who from time to time do read my blog, I encourage you in signing up on my "followers" list on the right hand side above my photo. Even if you don't sign up, I still appreciate the time you take in reading my mundane blog. If mom was more computer savvy, she would sign up.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

3 out 4 is a good thing.

Last night I went out so I did not get to see the Men's Finals of the Australian Open. And this morning upon waking up and checking the results, I was heartbroken to see that Rafael Nadal outplayed dear Roger Federer in a 5 set match. The only person that I would be OK to beat Roger is Andy Roddick. But alas, it was not meant for Andy or Roger to win. But on the bright side, 3 events out of 4 were won by people I like to win. So I suppose I should count my blessings instead of sulk over the disappointment.
First good news, Serena Williams got her 10th Grand Slam title. She totally outplayed Dinara Safina in 2 sets. Baggled Dinara in the first set in fact. And Serena will be ranked number 1 again. I know Serena can sometimes be a sore loser but as long as I reign supreme over this blog, Serena will be exalted.

And the second good news, the ever adorable Bryan brothers got the Men's doubles title. Yey! I love Bob and Mike Bryan and they are such a good team. They each suck at singles but as a doubles team, almost unbeatable.

And lastly, Venus and Serena got the Women's doubles title. Yey again! This is a good consolation prize for Venus considering she got eliminated in the second round. This was in fact the first good news I got from this tournament.

(pics from yahoo sports page)