Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Friendship that goes south.

I have learnt in the past several years as I got older that friendship evolves. Some friendship grow stronger and some goes south a little or completely. I have seen it happen in people I know and I am not surprise that some of my friendship evolved too. I have 3 situations of friendship that has gone from good friendship to something less.

I have cut off a friend once because he was just a bad friend. He would never answer his call nor return my calls. I did not expect that we talked every night or even every month but once in a while I would make an effort to keep in touch and call him. But of course my calls remained unanswered and unreturned. And once I texted him about my birthday party and he texted back that he is coming. On the day before my party, I called him again and left a message to remind him of my party. He never showed up and when I called him later to check up why, I got no where. So I decided to just cut him off. I deleted his number from my phone and did not accept his Facebook friend's request. What is the point? I do not need friends who does not put in any effort in the so called friendship.

In another situation with a friend, I decided to take a break from this friend. He just got too bossy at times and he just started to get on my nerves. Of course it did not help that there was an incident that broke the camel's back for me. So now I just avoid him. I am friendly when I hang out in a group with him but I just won't make an effort to see him. I would make an excuse as much as possible to not see him and it works just fine with me. We use to be better friends but now I just think of him as an acquaintance that I am friendly with in social situations.

And I used to have a very good friend that I used to spend lots of time with. But he got a BF and he got sick too so we saw less of each other. I understand how his BF and illness would get presidence over our friendship but when I noticed that he seems to prefer the company of his new friends over me, then I got the picture that we are not as good of a friend as we were. I still consider him a friend but not the best friend that he was. I have lesser expectations from him and that seems to work better with our relationship.

My own experiences with my friends made me think more about friendship. As we get older, do we put up less and less about friends that disappoint or annoy us. Is it a product of more wisdom that makes us tolerate less of the so called dramas that comes with friendship? I wonder cause certainly I see it happen to me.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

My largemouth bass

My fish having his two gold fish for dinner.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Devil Inside Review


This movie totally sucked big time. To think that I really wanted to see this. I was so disappointed.

The movie was suppose to be an amateur video story of this girl seeking an answer to her mother's "mental Illness". The journey brought her to Rome where her mother was transferred to. This transfer alone did not sound realistic but nonetheless it was so in the story. With the aid of two priests, who were acting without the consent of the Vatican, they were able to exorcist the demons out of her mother. The demons transferred to them which resulted to more trouble.

The story to begin with was just unrealistic and lame. Many of the scenarios were not plausible. And then the attempt to make it like an amateur video totally failed. No where near the realism of "Blaire Witch Project" or "Paranormal 1". I could tell it was a fake amateur video story. That of course took away the fear component of the movie. It would have been more scary if they just filmed it normally for a movie.

Save your money and skip this movie. 1 star out of 5.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Why the headless picture?

I came up with 4 reasons why somebody in those gay social networking sites would so often post headless pics or pics of something beside their face. And often the headless pic would be a shirtless pic of their torso.

1. The most common reason would probably be these guys are closeted or cheating on their spouse so they want to be discreet about posting their face picture in a gay social networking website. Specially so if the website is notorious as a hook up site. So they become a peeping Tom where they could see who is around but others can not see them.

2. Another possible reason is that they are not proud of their facial features. They could also belong to an ethnic group that would get dismissed from the get go when people see their ethnic faces. So instead, they post what they think is their best feature. Often that will be their body or sometimes their penis. They might think that this way, they can get people to be interested with them and not dismiss them as a potential mate or sex partner at first impression. Futile I say cause if they will be rejected base on their face, they will still be rejected whether they show it from the start or send it later.

3. Third possible reason is that they are just the kind of people who wants to have an upper hand at things. They do not want to play fair. So they want to be able to see first who they might be interested with, then send their face pictures to those people only. So they want to be able to weed "undesirables" first and not get themselves weeded out. They can see you but you can's see them. Again, a peeping Tom.

4. And last possible reason is that the profile is fake. So they post some headless picture they cropped of some random guy. They have no intention of meeting anybody so the random picture will suffice.


It could also be a combination of any of these reasons. Either way, I want nothing to do with them. I wish there would be a gay social networking site that people have to post a face pic. It is the way in public. People do not walk around with mask or a paper bag over their head. It is so frustration of have to deal with headless pictures online.

Monday, January 23, 2012

When can I do this?

My Largemouth bass is not yet big enough to be able to eat a small mouse. For now, he eats a big feeder goldfish. He could have 3 of those fish if I let him but I just give him one each time. I do not want him to get so big so fast that he outgrows the 29 gallon tank fast.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Preference vs Prejudice

In these day and age of social networking, many of us have to put up a profile for other people to see. This may be in Adam4Adam, gay.com, manhunt, match.com or even facebook. We put information about ourselves and who we want to meet and network with. In a good amount of profiles, I have seen people put in their own words their preference on what kind of people they want to meet. And some of the wordings of the preference of some people are so prejudice sounding. So when is a preference simply just a preference and when does it become prejudice and bigotry?

Examples of preference are:

> Looking to meet people in their 20's to early 30's. Looking for guys +/- 5 years from my age. Please be close to my age.
> Prefer to meet white and latin guys. I am really into black and latin guys.
> Please be HIV negative and STD free.
> Looking for guys who are tops. I am top so looking for a bottom.
> Looking for masculine guys.
> Please be height and weight proportionate. Prefer guys who are in shape.

Examples of a prejudicial sounding preference.

> No oldies. No one over 40.
> Not into black guys. No asians need apply.
> Not into poz.
> No bottoms.
> Not into fem guys.
> No one over 200 pounds. Not into fatties.

As you can see, both examples pretty much convey the same message on who they want to meet. The difference is in the language. The prejudicial way of conveying preference shows the thinly veiled ageism, racism and bigotry of that person. I am sure it is obvious that the preference way of phrasing INCLUDES those they want to meet and the prejudice way of phrasing EXCLUDES a certain group of people that they loathe.

Monday, January 16, 2012

In the Heights review


I saw In the Heights this weekend with my Puerto Rican friend and her BF. My PR friends were very eager to see this cause it is a musical about the latino community in NYC. I was curious and honestly did not know what to expect.

The show started very chaotic for me. Plus I did not care for the rapping of the main character Usnavi (Perry Young). I only half understood what he was rapping. The dancing crowd on the background was unimpressive. I did not care for the ghetto type of song and dance. The songs and singing voices were mediocre for me. I did know know who was who in the show. But as the show progress, it grew on me. The characters were established and their story line became clearer. I began to understand the the rapping of Usnavi. The conflict of each characters started to move me and I began to relate to them. There were some funny moments that made me chuckle. Even the seemed chaotic dancing of the company became more pleasing to me. As I started to appreciate the storyline and the characters, the singing remained undistinguished for me except for Daniela (Tauren Hagans). She had a strong powerful broadway voice. The others were not out of tune but I was just not flabbergasted by their voices. I am not surprise considering that the cast was racially correct looking. Meaning they were all passable as latino as called for by the roles. This may have limited the productions ability to cast other non latino looking actors out there that have far superior voices. Their pool was limited by adhering to a racially correct looking cast. The songs themselves were forgettable except for the "Carnaval del Barrio". It was festive and uplifting.

My latino friends were very impressed with the show. Naturally, I thought. They said it hit home for them. As for me, I was diverted but this show would not rank high in my list of best. I would give it 3 stars out of 5.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The intolerant Jew.

There was a profile in Grindr that I saw. His profile name is "Hot Israeli". He is 35 yo, 5'11" and 186 pounds. He classify his race as Middle Eastern. The only other thing he wrote besides his stats is "Not Into Asians and bottoms"

So I messaged him and this was our conversation online:

Me: How would you feel if people writes "Not into Jews" or whatever you are. Your thinly veiled hatred for Asians and bottoms is showing. Looks like the Nazi failed to teach you tolerance.

Hot Israeli: Say what you want man. I'm not trying to be right but when it comes to sex, asians and bottoms are a turn off for me. That's it. We are talking on sexual preference, not religion.

Me: You stereotype Asians to be one way sexually the same way the Nazi stereotyped Jews. I get that you have preference. It is the way you phrase it that makes Asians look like the scum of earth. "Prefer white, middle eastern, latin, black tops" sounds better. Just saying.

Hot Israeli: Listen, I'm not into asian as if you notice that most of white, latin or black are not into them too. So if you have a problem with what I write, don't look.

Me: Whatever. I expected a race/religion who suffered the holocaust to be more tolerant. Remember next time you see or hear an anti-semitic remark that you are just like those bigots.

Hot Israeli: Whatever.


As you can see, even the oppressed can be bigots too. You would think they would know better but evidently, this Jew does not.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Sexy young guy dancing.

Just a sexy eye candy video.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

7-11 I stopped going to.

As I was walking Janet this afternoon by the 7-11 near my home, I got reminded of why I have stopped patronizing that 7-11. It was last spring when I would walk Janet to the 7-11 and tie her outside while I hurriedly buy my lotto tickets. In one of those occasion, the cashier told me to wait while she checks out the people behind me first. I thought it was not fair cause it was my turn to get service but I did not say anything and went along with it. Then several days later when I returned to the 7-11 while walking Janet, I was told again by the same cashier to wait while she checks out the people who were buying things behind me before she sells me the lotto tickets. Well that time I was not taking it anymore. It was my turn and I wanted fair treatment. Besides, I was in a hurry to get back to Janet outside before she got dognapped. So I told her it was not OK and left without buying the lotto tickets. When I got home, I wrote an email to the 7-11 corporate office on their website and relayed my experience. I mentioned that if that particular 7-11 franchise would give preferential treatment to buyers of things over buyers of lotto, then they should just stop selling lotto altogether. The next day, I got a call from the manager of the said 7-11. He apologized and offered me a free lotto ticket that I could pick up to make up for my discontentment. But I did not go back to pick up my free lotto ticket. In fact I never returned to that 7-11 again. I was just not inclined to give them my business when there are other 7-11 I could patronize. Their lost I say.

Saturday, January 07, 2012

Thoughts regarding gay online social networking

Since I spend a good amount of time in gay social networking sites such as Gay.com, Manhunt.net and Grindr. I have several observations about some of the annoying practices of some people. Here they are:

> I think true mixed race people (half one race and half another) are good looking in general. When I see a profile that says mix race, I usually investigate and look at their picture. Often they do not look mix at all. So I find it rather pretentious for some people to have the need to classify their race as mix. Yes they technically have a mix of several races in their bloodline but my point is who isn't? Most of the American are a mixture of something. I am even technically a mix of Chinese and Mongolian/Siberian. But I do not go around posting in my profile that I am mix. I am Asian, period. So when I see a person who is by all intent and purposes looks like the general population of a particular ethnic group and they call themselves mix, I just roll my eyes. It is as if they are ashamed to identify themselves to that ethnic group that they resemble. It is as if they are more superior being mix. Whatever. I think only people who really look mix can call themselves mix without looking pretentious. Only the likes of Haley Berry or Keanu Reeves can get away calling themselves mix. Even Barrack Obama calls himself a black man when in fact his mother is white.

> Being mysterious to some degree is not a bad thing when dating a person. It can add excitement and freshness to the relationship. But being mysterious in your profile about the most basic information during the initial phases of getting to know each other is definitely a turn off. If I go on the bar with a mask, does that improve my odds in meeting people? NO! So why would people have profiles with headless/faceless picture? And on top of that, they will not divulge their age, race, height and weight. Is that suppose to be being mysterious or just being unrealistic and stupid? Who would want to chat with those profile? There are just some basic information that needs to be in the profile. Those would be the face picture, age and ht/wt.

> Grindr and Manhunt has this option to block a profile so that those blocked profiles can not see or message you. I use to get offended and annoyed that I was blocked by somebody. But now I realize it is for the best. If they want nothing to do with me, then they can block me anytime. In the long run, I would not want to associate with those kind of people anyways. And I myself would block profiles that do not bother to be fair and post a face picture. That way, I only get to see people with face picture when I am online. Making my online social networking more efficient and practical.

> Here are some pictures from different profiles I saw in Manhunt or Grindr.
I could barely tell what I am looking at. So on what planet are these pictures suppose to be effective in promoting oneself in those social networking websites? Seriously, they should get real and post a proper face picture. Or if they have to post a headless picture, at least post a better picture that people would find inviting. Not a picture that I have to stare for a minute to make out what it is.

Monday, January 02, 2012

New Year gave me a small consolation price.

Over the past decade, I have grown to be disillusioned and somewhat angry about my January 1 birthday. I felt that my special day is always second best and an after thought to the big New Year celebration. So this past birthday, I decided to just surrender to this predicament and not even bother celebrating the so called birthday. I did not expect anything from friends and family cause in the past, expectations that they will be there for my special day only led to disappointment. So no expectations, no disappointment.

Just as I was content to treat January 1 as just the New Year, I got a text from a friend. And I quote:

You may disagree but I think it's fabulous that we think of you on the very first day of the year. Happy Birthday Jonard! Lani


What Lani said is true indeed. Those people who knew me long and well have learnt to associate New Year Day with my birthday. And hence, they seldom forget to greet me. I must say that any other birthday not associated with a major holiday would have been easily forgotten. I know I am guilty of forgetting the birthdays of some of my friends and family. So this past birthday, I got tons of birthday text greetings from friends and family. And despite not posting my birthday in Facebook, I still got tons of greetings from those who knew me well. I must concede though that some of those Facebook birthday greetings are a result of them seeing the birthday posts in my wall/newsfeed. Still it was nice to get them. Indeed it was nice to be remembered. Indeed New Year Day gave me this small consolation price for ruining my birthday.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

La Cage Aux Folles review


I have enjoyed Birdcage the movie and it was to be expected that I will enjoy La Cage Aux Folles, the musical.
On the plus side, Christopher Sieber played the role of Albin/Zaza. He was just vastly diverting. His performance was unforced and his comedic punches were a big hit. His voice was magnificent. When he sang "I am what I am", I was almost moved to tears. The raw emotion was just so palpable. Billy Harrigan Tighe who played Jean-Mitchel was just so dreamy. And he has a good strong voice too. So becoming. Also the Les Cagelles were super athletic and talented. They sang, danced and did acrobatic moves. To think they did that in full sequined dresses and heels, I was impressed!
On the minus side, George Hamilton played Georges. He was too old for this role. His voice and movement sounded and looked frail. His singing was not bad but it just lack the power of a true broadway performer. He would have been more appropriate for this role 20 years ago. Also I thought Jeigh Madjus who played the role of Jacob (the butler/maid) was over the top somehow. There was just too much of the queenie antics. Almost like over acting. Besides "I am what I am", many of the songs were nice and melodic but quite forgettable.
The evening had its good points and bad points. So I would give it a 3 stars out of 5.