unhappy birthday

Indulge me here cause I just want to whine about my birthday and birthdate. For me, birthday is just another reminder that I am getting old. Just another reminder that illness and diseases will soon creep up on me. Just another reminder that I am getting more undesirable in general cause we all know that we as a culture puts a premium on youth. I can not recall a birthday that I was trully happy. Yeah there were a handful of birthdays that were fun and OK. Since my birthdate falls on New Years day, it is often just an afterthought with my friends and family. "Happy New Year!!! Oh also, Happy Birthday!" As a child, I only had one birthday party done a few days after the actual date and was also combined birthday party with my brother. Even as an adult, my birthday is non-special with my friends and family. I have to actually throw a party for some of my friends to celebrate it with me. After all the busy festivities with Christmas and New Year, the last thing they have in their mind is my birthday. Every Holiday season, I have to plan myself something special I want to do if I don't want another uneventful birthday. And don't even get me started with the gift! Often, I get a combined gift for my birthday and Christmas. If not combined, it's the unwanted gift they got from Christmas that gets to be my birthday gift. sigh...

There, I got it out of my chest. Now I can be less selfish and count my blessings.