Scott turned out to be a married man.

Every time I pass by a Quality Inn or a Ramada along San Fernando Boulevard, I imagine that Scott and I could possibly stay there to hang out.

Scott is this 50 yo guy I met in Chicago.  He travels for work to Chicago but lives in Orange County.  That time when I met him, he told me he was single and not yet out as a gay man.  Scott and I met twice while he was in town and we would hang out at my place.  I did like Scott and I have hoped to see more of him when I finally move to Los Angeles.  Before I got to move, I was able to make 2 trips to LA.  In those 2 occasions, Scott pretty much blew me off.  He did say he wanted to hang out when I texted him about my trip.  One time while we were exchanging text messages, I asked if I could be his friend in Facebook but he pretty much ignored that request.  I did not think much of it.  I thought since he was still in the closet, he was just being very discreet.  I have suspected that he may have met another guy and is no longer available to hang out with me.  But when I asked him, he reiterated that he was still single and would like to hang out again.

When I finally moved to LA, I texted Scott and asked if he would ever invite me to his place in OC so we could hang out again.  He texted me back with a confession that he is actually married to a woman and they have two children.  Now I realized why he says he like to hang out and yet blow me off.  Now I know why he won't share his Facebook with me.  Every thing seems to make sense to me.  Along with his confession was a repeat proclamation that he still wanted to hang out but would understand if I did not want anymore.  I texted him back saying we can not hang out at home since I live with my kins.  I am very conflicted about wanting to see him again and not having anything to do with a married man.  My brain tells me to just forget about him and yet another part of me hoped that he would offer that we hang out at a hotel.  So every time I pass by the chains of Hotels near my home, I get to be reminded of that hope.  I feel I am not being true to my morals if I see him and knowingly get involved with a married man.  It was different with I still did not know.  For now I can be at ease since I will not text him again and I do not think Scott will text me also.