Thursday, June 10, 2010

Joke or not, it makes me uneasy

I am not sure if it is unique to the Filipino culture but we Filipino sometimes joke about asking for money or favor. Like if it is the birthday of somebody we know, we often would jokingly ask him/her to treat us out to a meal. Like if somebody buys a lottery ticket, we would joke that he/she gives us a cut or "balato" if he/she wins big. Like if somebody got a promotion at work, we jokingly would ask him/her to treat us out. Like if somebody goes abroad, we would ask him/her to bring us back a present. Like if somebody goes home to the Philippines from living abroad, we would ask him/her to bring us gifts called "pasalubong". And I believe in every joke, there is a subtext of truth. Is it because most Filipino grew with little means that asking for the graces of others more fortunate considered acceptable? I do not know for sure. But one thing I know, those jokes make me uncomfortable. I personally do not make that kind of joke. I would never ask somebody to treat me out just because it is his/her birthday. Unless it is my immediate family, I would never ask somebody to bring me presents from abroad. I just do not like asking for something from somebody since I have the means to get them myself. Even if I do not have the means, I just have enough pride and dignity not to ask for it. If he/she gives it without me hinting or asking, then that is all fine and dandy. I might accept it but never will I ask for it.

Just the other day at work, I bought 6 tickets for Billy Elliot online for my coworkers since we plan to watch it. When I asked one of my Filipino coworker for the check for her ticket, she joked that thank you should be enough. Initially I just ignored it. Then when I asked again the following day, she joked again that it should just be a "thank you for the ticket". Mind you this woman gets paid more than I do so she has the means to pay for her ticket. But still she jokes about it. Her joke made me uneasy that I just flat out told her it is not funny so she dropped the joke and handed me her check.

Every time I am the recipient of this kind of joke, I feel awkward. I still do not know what to say so I just usually do not respond to it hoping that the beseecher would get the message and move on. Or perhaps I should say how I really feel about it...

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