BFF? Not...

BFF or Best Friends Forever is a very rare phenomenon. In many instances, friendship evolves. Many things can happen to a friendship that can dissolve or at least weaken the friendship. I have seen it happen to people I know and I have experienced it myself as well. For example, one party in a friendship may get married and change their priority that does not necessarily suite the other friend's priority anymore. A friend may find other new friends that he/she would rather spend time on. A friend may change religious views that could alienate the other friend. The list of possible circumstances goes on.

As for me and my good friend Bruno, it became apparent to me lately that our friendship is not what it was before. I suppose it was gradually changing but this past holiday gave me a wake up call that he obviously have other priorities in his life than me. For one, it was obvious that he would rather spend his time and effort to be with his other new friends celebrating New Year than to celebrate my birthday on January 1. Bruno does not go to facebook so he was not aware of my effort to celebrate my birthday on my Lunar calendar date rather than January 1. So as far as he is concern, my birthday is still January 1. What is the point of having a birthday on New Year's Day when your good friend even forget to greet you happy birthday? Why did Bruno forget? Because it was obvious his priority was celebrating new year with his new friends. That was very disappointing to me. To make matters worse, he blurted out on a January 2 gathering of friends at Kit Kat bar that it was my birthday yesterday. It was such an afterthought kind of announcement and made me feel so insignificant. And another sign that I am not so much in his mind anymore was the fact that he did not even get me a Christmas gift for the first time since we were friends for many years. (fyi, I got him and his BF a separate gift for Christmas). I grant that he has a chronic illness and a BF/partner that keeps him occupied mostly but he is obviously not sick or busy enough to party with his other friends. So I will just accept this fact that our friendship is not as close as it was. At least this way, I will not have any expectations from him and will not have disappointments should he fail to deliver. At least I know that I should not make efforts to celebrate his birthday or go around buying him christmas or birthday gift cause those acts are for close friends only. I am a very fair person and I give out what I receive. That applies to how I treat my friends. That is the only way to keep my sanity. That is how I cope with disappointing changes in friendship.